Good morning Brooklyn, TGIF! and thank God that storm system that hovered over New York City yesterday evening is officially gone! Even though it's been 20 hours since the cumulonimbus clouds have floated away; meterologists have yet to determine whether or not, it was in fact, a tornado that reeked havic in our borough. Tornado or not, ask any New Yorker and they will tell you that yesterday's storm was one for the record books.
It came as suddenly as it went; no week long updates like the ones associated with hurricanes as they originate off the west coast of Africa and gather strength as they travel up the mid-Atlantic, making landfall in the West Indies, before heading for the East Coast. No...the Accu-weather man simply told New Yorkers to carry their umbrellas Thursday morning, because there might be a thunderstorm in the late afternoon.
Well Brooklyn, if you were making your way home during rush hour yesterday and didn't get a chance to hear the 5 o'clock news weather update, then you were probably petrified as the sky turned from a dull gray to a blackish-green and the distant roar of thunder-accompanied by menacing lightening flashes, and 66mph winds-became more distinct...AND THEN THE FLOOD GATES OPENED! The storm only lasted for about 20 minutes, but it was like a scene from War of the Worlds.
When it was all said and done, the damage was clearly evident. Fallen trees, lamposts and traffic lights, wrecked vehicles, power outtages; the NYC Sanitation department definitely has their work cut out for them. Yesterday's deadly storm (which did cause one fatality), ripped through New York City with an indescribable vengeance, leaving New Yorkers to pick up the pieces.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Saturday, September 4, 2010
The Summer That Was 2010
Hello Brooklyn, happy Saturday! Labor Day weekend is now in full swing which means that the summer that was 2010 is practically over! With everything that's been happening in NYC over the past few weeks, i.e. the construction of the "Ground Zero Mosque," hate crimes against Muslims and Mexicans, and most recently, a young girl dying from an asthma attack because a police officer failed to administer CPR; I know you're probably wondering why I have been silent!
Well, Brooklyn, it's not that I didn't find these events blog worthy, I've just had a difficult time processing that which has transpired. Is it just me or does my beloved city seem as though it's headed for self-destruction?
My hope is that as the heat fades and the seasons change, so do the attitudes of my fellow New Yorkers, bringing an end to the random, senseless acts of violence. Over the next few weeks, I'll be sure to weigh in on all of these issues and give you my persective. But for now, I'd like everyone to be safe and enjoy the holiday weekend!
Happy Labor Day!
Well, Brooklyn, it's not that I didn't find these events blog worthy, I've just had a difficult time processing that which has transpired. Is it just me or does my beloved city seem as though it's headed for self-destruction?
My hope is that as the heat fades and the seasons change, so do the attitudes of my fellow New Yorkers, bringing an end to the random, senseless acts of violence. Over the next few weeks, I'll be sure to weigh in on all of these issues and give you my persective. But for now, I'd like everyone to be safe and enjoy the holiday weekend!
Happy Labor Day!
Monday, August 9, 2010
Relationship 101: Standards & Deal-Breakers
Good evening, my fellow Brooklynites! Happy Monday! Over the last few weeks I've been spending some quality time with my girlfriends (gotta love 'em). And I can't help but to notice that recent conversations have been centered on relationships. Now, my intention is not to turn my blog into a dating site where I give relationship advice; lord knows that there are enough of them out there. However, I would like to switch gears for a moment, and hopefully shed some light on the hot topic.
For some reason, in today's society a woman who is approaching thirty years of age, should also be headed towards the altar, or at least taking steps in that direction. Well, the fact of the matter is that many of my "sista girls" are single, and quite frankly, they are pretty fed up with the dating scene. In turn, this results in endless girl's nights, phone conversations, and now Facebook forums and BBM sessions specifically geared to discuss relationship woes; not to mention the countless articles written in publications like Essence or the new, Madame Noire magazines. It seems that women my age are desperately seeking advice on what it takes to find and keep a good man.
Therefore, I feel the need to pose the following question: Is Mr. Right really that hard to find? My girls seem to think so, but honestly, I don't! It's all about setting "realistic" standards and adhering to them. You don't know how many girlfriends I've asked, "Well, what type of guy are you looking for?," only for them to respond "I don't know, I don't really have a type." Well, if you don't have a type, should you really be looking?? Setting standards helps you to weed people out. If you haven't figured out what you want, then you're wandering aimlessly, allowing every Kevin, Tom, and Charles to enter your life. First things first, go back to the drawing board and set "realistic" standards.
I use the term "realistic" because I mean just that that! Determine what you are, and aren't willing to tolerate and go from there. For example, if you don't want to date a man who has a child, then don't! His child is not going anywhere, so if that happens to be a deal-breaker for you, then don't bother (Note: As you get older, the possibility of dating someone with a child only increases). If you are unwilling to date outside of your race...don't! If you are not open to the idea, please do not try to convince yourself that you can become racially sensitive along the way! If race happens to be a touchy subject for you, then you will only wind up stepping on each others toes. If you value education, please do not date the janitor and think that you are going to persuade him into getting his PhD. Chances are, it just won't happen!
At this point, I think you catch my drift. This is what I mean by being "realistic." Learn what works for you and date accordingly. Does this mean that there isn't room for, or that you shouldn't be willing to compromise? Of course not! However, what it does mean is that you should be well aware of what your deal-breakers are. What areas are you willing to compromise in? If monogamy is important to you, let it be known. Make sure that you are dating exclusively; don't be afraid to put a title on your relationship. If the guy is unwilling to do that, then chances are he doesn't intend on being monogamous. Should you find out that he isn't interested in dating exclusively...then LEAVE! Why would you wait around thinking that you can change him? You can't; more importantly, you won't! Who knows, maybe monogamy is not a deal-breaker for you (different strokes for different folks), but if it is, speak-up! And if your message is falling on deaf ears...break out!
Now ladies, this doesn't mean that you should pull out your list of criteria at the dinner table and start checking things off (if you do, I guarantee you that will be your first and only date); we all know how to feel a person out and drop subtle hints. And you can find out pretty early on whether or not you share the same deal-breakers. Once you find someone who holds the same values, ideals and principles, and has a compatible personality, the sky is the limit! If you are willing to work on your relationship (all relationships require some level of compromise because you are two different people trying to function as a unit), then I guarantee that it will mature and blossom. Does this mean that things are going to be peachy all the time? Absolutely not! Think about the other significant relationships in your life, w/parents, siblings, best friends etc. I'm quite sure that these people have a tendency to get underneath your skin every now and then (and vice versa), but you learn their likes and dislikes and deal with them accordingly. And therefore, you should approach your relationship with your significant other the same way.
Now, by no means, do I consider myself a romance expert, but I've learned a thing or two along the way. As a woman approaching thirty, who is slowly taking those steps towards the altar; I can confidently say that I'm in this position because, this time around, I adhered to the "realistic" standards that I set in place. I realized that part of maturing and coming into my womanhood, was becoming aware of my wants, desires, likes and dislikes, and deal-breakers!
So, to all my "girlfriends" out there who are looking for Mr. Right and to those of you who are dating Mr. Wrong or Mr. Right Now (trust me I've been there); take a step back to examine your list of criteria (if you don't have a list, then stop everything that you are doing and create one). Are your standards realistic? How many of the things you have listed are actually deal-breakers? How many of your standards are superficial?? Before entering a relationship we should all be honest with ourselves and answer these questions.
Ladies, if we don't know what we want, then we can end up with any and everything. It's like shopping at Target without a list.
For some reason, in today's society a woman who is approaching thirty years of age, should also be headed towards the altar, or at least taking steps in that direction. Well, the fact of the matter is that many of my "sista girls" are single, and quite frankly, they are pretty fed up with the dating scene. In turn, this results in endless girl's nights, phone conversations, and now Facebook forums and BBM sessions specifically geared to discuss relationship woes; not to mention the countless articles written in publications like Essence or the new, Madame Noire magazines. It seems that women my age are desperately seeking advice on what it takes to find and keep a good man.
Therefore, I feel the need to pose the following question: Is Mr. Right really that hard to find? My girls seem to think so, but honestly, I don't! It's all about setting "realistic" standards and adhering to them. You don't know how many girlfriends I've asked, "Well, what type of guy are you looking for?," only for them to respond "I don't know, I don't really have a type." Well, if you don't have a type, should you really be looking?? Setting standards helps you to weed people out. If you haven't figured out what you want, then you're wandering aimlessly, allowing every Kevin, Tom, and Charles to enter your life. First things first, go back to the drawing board and set "realistic" standards.
I use the term "realistic" because I mean just that that! Determine what you are, and aren't willing to tolerate and go from there. For example, if you don't want to date a man who has a child, then don't! His child is not going anywhere, so if that happens to be a deal-breaker for you, then don't bother (Note: As you get older, the possibility of dating someone with a child only increases). If you are unwilling to date outside of your race...don't! If you are not open to the idea, please do not try to convince yourself that you can become racially sensitive along the way! If race happens to be a touchy subject for you, then you will only wind up stepping on each others toes. If you value education, please do not date the janitor and think that you are going to persuade him into getting his PhD. Chances are, it just won't happen!
At this point, I think you catch my drift. This is what I mean by being "realistic." Learn what works for you and date accordingly. Does this mean that there isn't room for, or that you shouldn't be willing to compromise? Of course not! However, what it does mean is that you should be well aware of what your deal-breakers are. What areas are you willing to compromise in? If monogamy is important to you, let it be known. Make sure that you are dating exclusively; don't be afraid to put a title on your relationship. If the guy is unwilling to do that, then chances are he doesn't intend on being monogamous. Should you find out that he isn't interested in dating exclusively...then LEAVE! Why would you wait around thinking that you can change him? You can't; more importantly, you won't! Who knows, maybe monogamy is not a deal-breaker for you (different strokes for different folks), but if it is, speak-up! And if your message is falling on deaf ears...break out!
Now ladies, this doesn't mean that you should pull out your list of criteria at the dinner table and start checking things off (if you do, I guarantee you that will be your first and only date); we all know how to feel a person out and drop subtle hints. And you can find out pretty early on whether or not you share the same deal-breakers. Once you find someone who holds the same values, ideals and principles, and has a compatible personality, the sky is the limit! If you are willing to work on your relationship (all relationships require some level of compromise because you are two different people trying to function as a unit), then I guarantee that it will mature and blossom. Does this mean that things are going to be peachy all the time? Absolutely not! Think about the other significant relationships in your life, w/parents, siblings, best friends etc. I'm quite sure that these people have a tendency to get underneath your skin every now and then (and vice versa), but you learn their likes and dislikes and deal with them accordingly. And therefore, you should approach your relationship with your significant other the same way.
Now, by no means, do I consider myself a romance expert, but I've learned a thing or two along the way. As a woman approaching thirty, who is slowly taking those steps towards the altar; I can confidently say that I'm in this position because, this time around, I adhered to the "realistic" standards that I set in place. I realized that part of maturing and coming into my womanhood, was becoming aware of my wants, desires, likes and dislikes, and deal-breakers!
So, to all my "girlfriends" out there who are looking for Mr. Right and to those of you who are dating Mr. Wrong or Mr. Right Now (trust me I've been there); take a step back to examine your list of criteria (if you don't have a list, then stop everything that you are doing and create one). Are your standards realistic? How many of the things you have listed are actually deal-breakers? How many of your standards are superficial?? Before entering a relationship we should all be honest with ourselves and answer these questions.
Ladies, if we don't know what we want, then we can end up with any and everything. It's like shopping at Target without a list.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Texting While Driving Is Illegal, Beyonce!
Good morning Brooklyn, TGIF! I know that most New Yorkers have a love-hate relationship with the NYPD, but you've gotta love them for slamming Beyonce with a texting while driving ticket! According to Celebrity High Magazine, and several other celebrity gossip websites, Beyonce was caught texting and driving in NYC on June 23, and unfortunately her superstar status was unable to save her! According to reports, Ms. Knowles just recently got her Driver's License and tried to act as though she did not know that texting while driving was illegal. Come on, Beyonce! You know better! And I'm quite sure that you took Oprah Winfrey's, No Phone Zone Pledge!
Of course the $130 ticket is of no consequence to Beyonce who grossed over 87 million dollars this year alone, but it's the principle. In New York City, who you are doesn't matter; no one's above the law!
Of course the $130 ticket is of no consequence to Beyonce who grossed over 87 million dollars this year alone, but it's the principle. In New York City, who you are doesn't matter; no one's above the law!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Catch a Dollar Van? No Thanks, I'll Pass!
Good afternoon Brooklyn! Today I watched Mos Def and Talib Kweli's, Definition video from the Black Star album. You know, the one where they ride in the Black Star dollar van down Flatbush Avenue and school you about hip-hop! Based on the video's portrayal, riding in a dollar van seems like an exhilarating experience. You get to meet hip-hop gurus and have a sing-along. I mean, who wouldn't want to meet Mos Def, Talib Kweli or Common (he was in the video also) in a van on their way home from work?
Well, I've ridden in a dollar van many times and I have yet to see one with the words Black Star written across it! Now of course, I'm being facetious. I know that the Black Star van is fictitious, and I don't expect to encounter hip-hop mega stars on my ride home. But what I do expect, is for my ride-whatever method of transportation I choose-to be safe. And unfortunately riding in a dollar van is anything but that!
Those of you who live in the Flatbush section of Brooklyn, and frequent this method of transportation, know exactly what I'm talking about. I don't know where dollar van drivers originate from, but they are the most reckless people on wheels! Bobbing and weaving in and out of traffic in the hopes of picking up a new customer, or "rider" as they like to call them; diving behind buses and trucks. I was even in a van one morning on Flatbush Avenue, and the driver thought it was a good idea to reverse down the busy two-way street into a bus stop, rather than lose a potential "rider" (I know it's quite incredulous)! Every time I get into a van I'm forced to hold my breath and hope for the best.
I don't know about you Brooklyn, but enough is enough; my life is worth more than $2.00 (the cost of a dollar van ride), and for that reason I am boycotting the dollar van! I came to this conclusion last week when my boyfriend and I were walking down Flatbush Ave. at Parkside Ave.(if you've read my previous posts, then you realize that this corner is action packed) and witnessed a driver get attacked in his own van. Yes...you heard correctly!
As the van was stalled at the traffic light, a young boy riding on a bike stopped at the corner, exchanged a few words with another guy, who pointed towards the van. The kid with the bike then neatly placed his bicycle in front of van, opened the side door, walked in and proceeded to punch the driver in the face, repeatedly. The stunned, frightened passengers escaped from the vehicle as though it had caught fire! Quite frankly, I don't think anyone can blame them. My boyfriend and I were only onlookers for a few moments; if the situation was going to escalate, we didn't want to be around.
I assume the driver wasn't badly injured, because the kid with the bike got out of the van, hopped on his bicycle and peddled away. And the driver put his pedal to the metal and sped off. All and all, the entire experience was a little too freakish and brutal for me. I mean, it's one thing to have to worry about getting into a car accident; we all take that risk whenever we get into any moving vehicle. But having to worry about being physically assaulted by someone in the vehicle, is where I draw the line.
Catch a dollar van? No thanks, I'll pass!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
The Recession Doesn't Have To Be Depressing!
Hello Brooklyn! Today I'm feeling a little depressed about the recession and the toll that it has taken on my fellow New Yorkers (myself included). I've done a little research and according to the Department of Labor's statistics, as of July 15, 2010 the city's unemployment rate is 9.5 percent, despite the 8,300 jobs that were added to the private sector last month. In all fairness, this is a slight improvement from the city's 10.5 percent rate which existed at the end of 2009, but when will the economy "get better?"
I, along with several of my friends have been adversely affected by the decline (or should I demise) of the American economy. I lost my position as an Adjunct lecturer of a GED program administered by the CUNY, due to budget cuts. Of course this wasn't my dream job (I'd love to be the editor-and-chief of my own magazine) but it provided a steady income and it paid the bills; which is more than I can say for unemployment benefits. How does the average, middle/working class American who brought in 40-80K per year, now survive on $405 a week. And that's only if you are lucky enough to receive the maximum pay-out of the state's unemployment benefits (unfortunately I'm not)! Hopefully, we all have money stashed away for a rainy day, but the harsh reality is that the average American lives check-to-check.
So what do you do when the economy fails you? When the source of your livelihood is lost? And the prospect of your gaining new employment in a timely fashion is dismal because you, along with every Tom, Dick, and Harry are competing for the same position? Do you continue to send out countless resumes (you'd be silly not to), with the hope that yours will stand out in the sea of resumes piled on the desk of a HR representative? Or do you employ good 'ol nepotism, and ask Daddy to make a phone call? By the way, if this is an option, you should definitely use it! Or, do you go back to school to get another degree? Several of my friends seem to think so (Note: If you don't have a Bachelor's degree, it's probably a good idea)! But if you're like me and already posses a graduate or professional degree, and aren't really sure that a PhD is necessary to bring your goals into fruition; what's your best recourse of action during these trying times?
I say, tap into your talent! Find your niche and develop it to its fullest potential. That's what I've decided to do; become the writer, that I was born to be! There's no time like the present! Recognize your gift, foster your talent and hangout in the right circles. You never know who you will meet or what can happen; I'm surprised by the invaluable connections that I've made during the last few weeks alone! Definitely send out your resume, but don't wait around for it to be discovered; be as proactive as possible, become the master of your ship and control your destiny!
In hindsight, I guess being laid off wasn't so bad after all!
I, along with several of my friends have been adversely affected by the decline (or should I demise) of the American economy. I lost my position as an Adjunct lecturer of a GED program administered by the CUNY, due to budget cuts. Of course this wasn't my dream job (I'd love to be the editor-and-chief of my own magazine) but it provided a steady income and it paid the bills; which is more than I can say for unemployment benefits. How does the average, middle/working class American who brought in 40-80K per year, now survive on $405 a week. And that's only if you are lucky enough to receive the maximum pay-out of the state's unemployment benefits (unfortunately I'm not)! Hopefully, we all have money stashed away for a rainy day, but the harsh reality is that the average American lives check-to-check.
So what do you do when the economy fails you? When the source of your livelihood is lost? And the prospect of your gaining new employment in a timely fashion is dismal because you, along with every Tom, Dick, and Harry are competing for the same position? Do you continue to send out countless resumes (you'd be silly not to), with the hope that yours will stand out in the sea of resumes piled on the desk of a HR representative? Or do you employ good 'ol nepotism, and ask Daddy to make a phone call? By the way, if this is an option, you should definitely use it! Or, do you go back to school to get another degree? Several of my friends seem to think so (Note: If you don't have a Bachelor's degree, it's probably a good idea)! But if you're like me and already posses a graduate or professional degree, and aren't really sure that a PhD is necessary to bring your goals into fruition; what's your best recourse of action during these trying times?
I say, tap into your talent! Find your niche and develop it to its fullest potential. That's what I've decided to do; become the writer, that I was born to be! There's no time like the present! Recognize your gift, foster your talent and hangout in the right circles. You never know who you will meet or what can happen; I'm surprised by the invaluable connections that I've made during the last few weeks alone! Definitely send out your resume, but don't wait around for it to be discovered; be as proactive as possible, become the master of your ship and control your destiny!
In hindsight, I guess being laid off wasn't so bad after all!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Reveal Your Mystery- Incognito!
Good morning Brooklyn! By no means am I a party promoter, but if you're looking for something to get into this weekend, Saturday, July 17th, Incognito is the real deal. Brought to you by Choclate, Glamorous T. and Jess from Sex in the City Ladies; music by My Boys Ontrack and Synco, Remo da CEO & Reel Rock (and more), Incognito is the wine up fest of the summer! Hear your old and new tunes and celebrate good vibes with swanky people! If you hang with a soca crowd this is one local party that you can't miss! Shame on you if you have yet to purchase a ticket, they're running out fast!
Tickets: $20 in advance; more at the door
Location: 325 East 53rd Street btwn Church & Snyder
Doors open: 10 pm; 21 to party; ID required
BROOKLYN, IF FOR SOME INSANE REASON YOU CAN'T MAKE IT...I'LL BE SURE TO GIVE YOU AN INSTANT REPLAY OF WHAT YOU MISSED!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Riding the Q train
Hello Brooklyn, Happy Sunday! Hopefully you are finding creative ways to beat the summer heat!
As many of you may or may not know, I live in the Kensington section of Brooklyn, and therefore, I ride the Q and F trains rather frequently. If you happen to be a New York City strap-hanger like myself then you know that once you board one of the MTA's 24 subway lines, that you can sit back, relax, and prepare to be entertained. On any given day, you can ride the New York City subway and meet the next American Idol, ABDC contenstants, televangelist/prophet/soothsayer...the list goes on and on. The subway is a place for people to find their niche and share their talent (or lack thereof in many cases).
And sometimes- about 3pm this afternoon while riding a Coney Island bound Q train, to be exact- you just overhear (without eavesdropping) the little asinine conversations that take place between friends and family members.
WARNING: The following conversation took place amongst 3 generations of a family (grandmother, mother, and 17-20 yr. old grandson).
Mother: (talking to grandmother) He is losing his scholarship because he failed two classes.
Grandmother: Yeah, that's right. You said that he failed Chinese.
Grandmother: (to grandson) Why did you take Chinese anyway?
Grandson: Because I always wanted to go to Tokyo.
Grandmother and Mother: deafening silence...
WTF?! LOSING HIS SCHOLARSHIP!! HOW DID HE GET A SCHOLARSHIP?? SMH!!!
As many of you may or may not know, I live in the Kensington section of Brooklyn, and therefore, I ride the Q and F trains rather frequently. If you happen to be a New York City strap-hanger like myself then you know that once you board one of the MTA's 24 subway lines, that you can sit back, relax, and prepare to be entertained. On any given day, you can ride the New York City subway and meet the next American Idol, ABDC contenstants, televangelist/prophet/soothsayer...the list goes on and on. The subway is a place for people to find their niche and share their talent (or lack thereof in many cases).
And sometimes- about 3pm this afternoon while riding a Coney Island bound Q train, to be exact- you just overhear (without eavesdropping) the little asinine conversations that take place between friends and family members.
WARNING: The following conversation took place amongst 3 generations of a family (grandmother, mother, and 17-20 yr. old grandson).
Mother: (talking to grandmother) He is losing his scholarship because he failed two classes.
Grandmother: Yeah, that's right. You said that he failed Chinese.
Grandmother: (to grandson) Why did you take Chinese anyway?
Grandson: Because I always wanted to go to Tokyo.
Grandmother and Mother: deafening silence...
WTF?! LOSING HIS SCHOLARSHIP!! HOW DID HE GET A SCHOLARSHIP?? SMH!!!
Friday, July 9, 2010
Food for thought- Colorism
Your eyes are green, but you ain’t white, your hair is straight because you pressed it last night. (School Daze, Spike Lee)
Buenas noches Brooklyn, happy Friday! This evening I watched Spike Lee’s 1988 film School Daze, for the 3rd time within the last month. And I must admit that I am quite intrigued by the issue of colorism; particularly the role that it has played in my life and the African-American community, at large. For the past few hours, I’ve thought about it quite intently, and would like to leave you with some food for thought.
According to my father I was only in the second grade when I came home from school one day and revealed to him that “I wish I were light-skinned.” Now of course this didn’t mean that I wanted to be white. However, it did mean that I wished I could trade in my dark brown skin for a lighter, brighter complexion, which often included hazel eyes and ‘pretty hair.’ As a seven year-old, I wanted to be a 'light-skinned black girl.'
Although, I don’t have any recollection of this particular incident, my story is a story that African-American girls and women with darker complexions know all too well. Unfortunately, we still live in a society, where the standard of beauty is measured on a European scale. The closer you are to white, the prettier you are. Just recently, I got into an argument with a light-skinned relative, who in a moment of intense anger, referred to me as “black and nappy-headed.” I also remember when a close friend of mine gave birth; she and her husband were concerned because the baby was of a darker complexion. As a matter of fact, the mother actually said, “I don’t want people to make fun of her because she is dark-skinned.” As much as we [black people] would like to believe that we have relinquished this outdated, warped way of thinking about our race; the elephant still sits in the room.
At the same token, there has been a reaffirming of blackness in the African-American community. More women have learned to embrace their natural hair and to be comfortable in their skin, regardless of its complexion.
Hopefully, this is a genuine step forward, not just a fad.
What are your thoughts?
Buenas noches Brooklyn, happy Friday! This evening I watched Spike Lee’s 1988 film School Daze, for the 3rd time within the last month. And I must admit that I am quite intrigued by the issue of colorism; particularly the role that it has played in my life and the African-American community, at large. For the past few hours, I’ve thought about it quite intently, and would like to leave you with some food for thought.
According to my father I was only in the second grade when I came home from school one day and revealed to him that “I wish I were light-skinned.” Now of course this didn’t mean that I wanted to be white. However, it did mean that I wished I could trade in my dark brown skin for a lighter, brighter complexion, which often included hazel eyes and ‘pretty hair.’ As a seven year-old, I wanted to be a 'light-skinned black girl.'
Although, I don’t have any recollection of this particular incident, my story is a story that African-American girls and women with darker complexions know all too well. Unfortunately, we still live in a society, where the standard of beauty is measured on a European scale. The closer you are to white, the prettier you are. Just recently, I got into an argument with a light-skinned relative, who in a moment of intense anger, referred to me as “black and nappy-headed.” I also remember when a close friend of mine gave birth; she and her husband were concerned because the baby was of a darker complexion. As a matter of fact, the mother actually said, “I don’t want people to make fun of her because she is dark-skinned.” As much as we [black people] would like to believe that we have relinquished this outdated, warped way of thinking about our race; the elephant still sits in the room.
At the same token, there has been a reaffirming of blackness in the African-American community. More women have learned to embrace their natural hair and to be comfortable in their skin, regardless of its complexion.
Hopefully, this is a genuine step forward, not just a fad.
What are your thoughts?
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